![]() He censured the deviations of his predecessors therefrom as mistakes, and insisted on purifying and at the same time enlarging the stage, as, in his opinion, from the constraint of court manners, it had been almost straitened to the dimensions of an antechamber. His knowledge of the Greeks was very limited, although he now and then spoke of them with enthusiasm, in order, on other occasions, to rank them below the more modern masters of his own nation, including himself still, he always felt himself bound to preach up the grand severity and simplicity of the Greeks as essential to Tragedy. ![]() “Such, nearly, was the state of the French theatre before the appearance of Voltaire. Blessed and cursed by the Midas touch of our digital era divinity.” All stumbling about, blinded by reflected glory, never knowing where to step, or what to trust. Insignificant on a planet of billions, but a staggering number when considered as a whole. And from time to time, I think how many tens of thousands like him there must be in the world. In the short time I knew him, I saw a man with an endless potential trapped in a maze he couldn't even name. There's an Aegeus, casting himself into the ocean at the sight of a black sail.In another life, I like to think that Luc O'Donnell and I might've worked out. For every Theseus who slays the Minotaur and returns home in triumph, there's an Ariadne abandoned on the isles of Naxos. But like most cliches, there's an element of truth to it. The Beyoncés and the Brangelinas of our world filling the void left by the gods and heroes of antiquity. You guys are the reason I went into the paper business, so, uh, goodnight, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe.“Fame has taken the place of religion in the 21st century. Alright everybody, you know I kid, you know I kid. Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Angela, where’s Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn’t see you there behind that grain of rice. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one. Michael: Jim, you’re 6’11 and you weigh 90 pounds. When Michael returns to the office, he has a few roasts of his own: We’re stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, well it’s true. Andy (singing to the tune of “What I Like About You”): What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you’re the laziest, jerkiest, and you’re dumber than applesauce.(Kevin yells “How small is it?”) If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle! And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. He’s supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses. Pam: Once every hour, someone is involved in an Internet scam.You don’t have any friends or any family or any land! Dwight: You pathetic, short little man.Remember spider face? ‘Cause the quote was, “cut off your nose to spider face.” Jim: Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said “Gross.” Michael, you are the reason I drink. ![]() Meredith: Michael, you ran over me with your car.A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a wood chipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Kelly: I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott.If you ever called the fire department ’cause your head was stuck in your chair you might be… Michael Scott! If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. Angela: If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here’s a quiz to help.Here is what each of the characters says during the roast, and what Michael says in return. In The Office Season 5 episode Stress Relief, Michael holds a roast in his honor, thinking that it will relieve stress in the office.
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